Why You’re Over-Working to Be Valued (And How It’s Keeping You Stuck)
You know what’s wild?
Most immigrant businesswomen I coach aren’t over-working because they “love being busy.”
They’re over-working because deep down —
there’s a fear:
“If they’re disappointed in me… my opportunity disappears.”
So they try to stay safe by over-delivering.
They anticipate needs.
They fix things before someone even asks.
They say yes before they even check capacity.
They work harder so no one can be unhappy with them.
Not because they’re lazy or unfocused.
But because being liked feels like survival.
It feels protective.
One of my clients said it perfectly:
“If they’re not happy with me, they won’t buy from me. So I keep doing more, just in case.”
And that’s where the invisible over-working begins.
But here’s the painful truth:
Trying to control how others feel… costs you more capacity than the work itself.
and ironically:
the more you over-function to protect the relationship…
the more exhausted + resentful you become
and the less visible + powerful your work actually becomes.
Because you’re not creating from clarity —
you’re creating from fear.
Imagine instead:
Your value is internal.
Not earned.
Not proven.
Not performed for.
When you create from that place —
You don’t need to do the most to feel safe.
You take the aligned action that actually grows the business —
not the over-work that drains it.
Awareness questions:
• where do you say “yes” so no one gets upset?
• where do you over-deliver to avoid disappointing someone?
• where do you assume you’ll be rejected — unless you work harder?
Small shift this week:
Pause before you respond.
Ask:
“Does this action actually move my business forward — or am I trying to prevent someone’s discomfort?”
That one pause alone can save hours of wasted output.
And free up so much emotional space.
If this hit your soul — take the quiz
and see the real reason you’re over-working.
